I believe in God. As an adolescent and young man, I could not state in no unclear terms that I believed in God. After I got married and had children, I began to have a greater curiosity about God. Who was making the next move, I or God? What had happened? Was it a situation similar to that of the prodigal son who wandered around wasting his inheritance on base passions and luxuriousness until, in the end, he became aware of the vanity of all things? Was it destiny, a chemical reactionary change, some sublime wish for something more? God had certainly not made any moves.
We are taught that God is eternal, infinite. God works in mysterious ways and we can never know Him enough. We are capricious and have an end. Today, bread dipped in olive oil tastes very good. Tomorrow, olive oil-dipped bread might ruin your appetite, and even make you sick. I would perhaps, instead, prefer some salad. Others react rather in the same way. Today, we accept much of what should be discarded, and discard much of what should be embraced. Tomorrow, we might well wake up of a different opinion. Thousands of years’ experience of other people, warnings, encounters with and teachings about God are irrelevant for some in today’s world. Others view God as a hurdle, an obstacle; a spying eye in the skies which is simply waiting to see what happens on earth. And still others state that the whole idea of God is just a frivolous exercise and in vain. Can someone convince another of a view not shared or diametrically opposed to what one believes? Is it then that something called grace might be of help?
With good reason, people become circumspect about many of the external influences which they come across, and embrace contemporary ideologies which generally are in agreement with their life’s principles. Life has become so confused, and many are those who are confused with competing ideas and ideals. When these find themselves alone, the only logical conclusion that can be reached is to put aside completely the concern of facing God. Those theologies, sects and conflicting arguments, even amongst those who say they believe in God, leave us, us sincere individuals, confused and disgusted when we desire to know exactly what is good and just. Shame on those who are a means of disseminating inevitable scandals.
I believe in God. But do not for one moment think that I am happy with myself. But that is something of an inner and self consolation. My inner ‘self’ simply finds itself in the way. There is nothing wrong in being, at the same time, disgusted with myself and loving myself, with all my shortcomings, disasters and gross mistakes. I know that God knows me more than I know myself, and I know that every individual encounters the same confusion, problems and embarrassment like me, and, therefore, I love them too. God has taken care of the waste and pollution which we manage to collect and store. Jesus Christ is my only hope. I believed Him when he said and showed me that He loves me. I did nothing to merit His love, except for this important step, which in itself does not appear to be of any importance: I believed Him.