Recently, my husband and I have been through our wedding preparation and planning phase. Since most of our friends are getting, or thinking of, getting married, we have heard a lot of advice and inside information on how to approach our wedding. I also had friends of mine rant about what they are going through while they’re supposedly planning for what should be one of the most important days of their lives. I completely empathise with them – and this is why.
1. Groom? What’s his name again?
One thing my husband and I noticed while we were going to vendors for quotes, is that they address just me. Yes, weddings are just about brides and what she wants is their command. Whether its flowers, carpets, even what the groom is wearing – it’s only the bride who knows what is best. Some vendors truly ignored him completely, no matter how hard I tried to include him in the conversation about whatever subject.
2. A Family Affair
It is important one invites all the family, even that aunt or second cousins to your mum that you didn’t know about until recently. And while you’re there, don’t forget about your parents’ colleagues and their neighbours too. Are you considering to invite the few people you really care about? Then the ultimate weapon is used: emotional blackmail. “Why do you want to get us in trouble with the family?” “What will Aunt Rosy say if we invite Aunt Doris and not her? She can be a b*tch you know!”. See, the funny thing is that it’s not about love towards all family members, the Maltese are particularly scared of what other people will say about them. For all you British comedy lovers out there, think of the show “Keeping Up Appearances”.
3. You will get your money back!
You don’t want to invite more people because your budget is just 6K?! Why are you worrying so much – you will get your money back, actually you will make a profit out of the entire wedding!
This is a very common piece of advice that my friends and I received while planning our wedding. For me it comes as a shock that weddings have been commercialised to such a point that even the couple plans to makes a business out of their own wedding! I heard of people even making spreadsheets on how much they anticipate each of their guests to give them as cash gift, and actually taking note of how much the guests gave them. But then again why am I so surprised? When you don’t invite people who you care about and therefore you don’t feel ashamed to do such things – it actually makes sense to calculate how much inviting these people will cost and making sure you get your money’s worth by inviting them.
4. If you don’t want to get married in a church, why get married in the first place?
Well there’s a complete article dedicated to this. Check this out!
5. Choose a ‘normal’ wedding ring to be worn everyday
I am not a ring person and dislike to wear them on a daily basis. Following this, I had decided to get a more intricate ring as my wedding ring, keeping in mind that I would wear it just on special occasions. Whenever I showed my wedding ring, explaining why I chose the style, I would instantly getting looks of disapproval and reassurance that I would get used to wearing a ring everyday – but really, why do I need to get used to it? I also notice this mentality in the US, where some female video bloggers I follow on YouTube always feel the need to provide an explanation to their followers on why they are not wearing their wedding ring in a particular clip they upload.
All in all, my husband and I were really happy with how our wedding planning went – and most of all, with the outcome. My husband and I were both relaxed – sure we wanted our wedding to reflect what we had always dreamt of but we did not have this concept of perfection that needed to be satisfied. And if I had to give some tips, well, it may sound cliché but go with whatever your hearts want and get help from people who want to help you achieve your goals and not their idea how a wedding should be.
Happy planning and have fun on your big day! 🙂